China

I missed singapore, I missed the food, I missed my tv, but I'm finally back! As wonderful as it is in Beijing, I'm still glad to be home. The trip was to say the least spectacular so hopefully sharing my experience will help change your minds about China.

The plane ride to Beijing took about 5 and a half hours and the moment I set foot outside the airport, I could feel the winds and the 12 degree dry air dryin up my skin. Apart from the damage bein done to my skin, the weather was heavenly and I enjoyed every moment of not being sticky when in the humid climate of Singapore. We didn't really do much on the first day and perhaps the highlight was the acrobatics show we were treated to after dinner. The performances were amazing, one girl's flexibility in particular was so scary I wondered if she even has bones. Oh one thing that really struck me on the first day was Beijing's traffic. There are perpetually jams on every single road or expressway and the way people drive there.... I doubt I'll ever get my license or even want to take my license if I lived in Beijing. And if you thought the cars there were of those weird China brands, boy are you wrong as the roads were swarmed with audis and VW's. Of course it helps that those 2 brands have their cars manufactured in China and is cheaper there. Soup of the day: Merc in Singapore = Audi A6 in Beijing

The Forbidden City was the first stop of the day and really, I think if you take the taj mahal and place it in the "City", you can jus use it as a tool shack. The size and beauty of the place is so amazing so much so that I was contemplating moving in. Tianamen square was jus right in front and the sheer size of the place meant that if 2 persons stood on each slab on the square, the whole place could accomodate a million people! The best part is you can even squeeze 4 people onto a slab though you can imagine how bad it would smell when people start sweating. Effectively, if need be, the square can hold half the population of Singapore. Perhaps LKY should start negotiations with China on donating some land to us. Facts of the day: 1. Emperors only used their hands to write and stamp emperial edicts. they even had eunuches to hold their dicks to help them aim while pissing. 2. Concubines weren't in the least bit pretty to prevent the emperor from thinking dirty all day and neglecting his duties. 3. The emperor could only spend 2 hours in a concubines room a night. Thank god fer that. 4. Emperors could take no more than 2 bites of a dish at every meal to prevent people from knowing which his favourite dishes are and poisoning him. Yes, he had eunuches to feed him and they could not talk while doing so.

The Great Wall of China, yup ladies and gents, the section I climbed was 888m in length and if you ask me, it was more of a Great Ladder. The section which we went to was up on a mountain and the steps were large with an average climbing angle of 60 degrees. Fuck man, my legs could not stop trembling on the descent as my muscles really almost died. Check out the pictures to see how steep it really was. That night I had 2 milk shakes at Mac's and haagen dazs ice cream without feelin the least bit guilty. And yeah I had milkshakes at Mc Donald's!!!! Why Singapore doesnt have I really can't figure out why, its so fuckin good.

I shall fast forward the next few days as theres little point in me bloggin about more scenery. On the last night, My uncle, sis and I headed outta the hotel in shorts in 10 degree weather to buy dumplings. The restaurant was bout a 5 min walk from the hotel and when ordering we almost went crazy with the variety of dumplings on offer. In the end we had about 40 huge dumplings, both steamed and fried ones and the bill came up to a grand total of 23 yuan(S$4) !!!! I can't stand it, so fuckin cheap!!! I love China. Anyways, we headed back to the hotel, bought 5 packs of chips and ordered 3 pigeons from room service and proceeded to pig out. The last day was shopping day! Fer the first time in Beijing I managed to get some shopping done. Our guide brought our family to some famous shopping disctrict and there are but a few times in my life i've been so excited and this was one of em. Converse shoes cost only like S$20 and the only reason I didnt buy more pairs was cause I couldn't find more pairs I liked. Oh and this experience I gotta blog. Was buyin a "Patek Philippe" and the lady offered to sell fer 580yuan. Our guide said to slash 50% off so when she handed me a calculator to key in my offer I pressed 2 0 0. She went "nooooooo" den pressed 480 and I keyed in 2 0 0 again. During which the a few other tourists had gathered and were watchin now. She keyed in 350 and again I keyed in 200. She didn't wanna budge so I told her I'll walk around and consider. Jus as I was about to walk away she called me back and said ok to me 200 yuan offer. What an achievement! Made our way to the airport after shopping and not surprisingly got caught in a jam. boarded the plane and guess what, there was a huge queue of planes to take off and we had to wait about an hour before we were positioned on the runway. At that moment, the pilot announced there were some technical difficulties and we had to taxi back to the gate. After an hour, we were told that we had to wait 2 more hours fer the engineers to fix the problem. Effectively I sat in the plane fer 4 hours on the ground and fer the first time had my meal served to me whilst landed. Squeezed in a movie durin the waiting and even had more time to check out the hot stewerdess that was serving me. I'm not sure what perfume she had on but it sure smelt bloody nice and I would've asked her what it was had she not asked fer my age when I requested fer white wine! Wtf!! She dared to tell me it was a compliment cause I look young....... Oh and have I mentioned this before? I thinkin the SIA sarong kebaya is fuckin sexay! Yeah, its not in the least bit revealing but the way it hugs the body's curves, its a sin that their uniform is designed that way. Little wonder that my nose bled so many times during the flight, kiddin.