Insightful thoughts...

for a racist:
Why is white the "superior" colour when it dirties easily while black the "inferior" colour when every colour wants to be the new black?

of a teenage boy:
How much must I spend to get that chio bu across than dancefloor drunk enuff to dance with me?

of a teenage girl:
How much dirtier must I dance with my girlfriend for that cute guy to stop dancing with that fugly bitch and notice me instead.

for Bill Gates:
Lim Cheng Kong Lewis. Cash cheque preferred.

for someone who is just about to find out about the pregnancy of his/her friend:
Why go "oh my gosh, you're gonna have a girl! Awwww" or "oh my gosh, you're gonna have a boy!! Awwww" when the chances are only 50-50? Be excited only when your friend's child is a hermaphrodite.

of Hugh Hefner:
(.) (.)

for parents whose children smoke marlboro lights:
Least it's not Reds.

for HIV +ive ppl:
You can have sex without worrying about gettin HIV. Jus worry about when you'll die of AIDS or how a person is gonna kill you for passin HIV to him/her.

for a scientist:
How do you make clothes invisible so that the invisible man wun have to go around in his birthday suit?

for tracy phillips, Zouk's marketing manager:
Zouk membership for lewis and friends will ensure they'll never go to MOS and stay faithful to Zouk.

for the MOS marketing manager:
If you make a move before tracy phillips, lewis will turn her down.

of the blogger:
I'll keep both memberships and tell the respective managers I'll only go to their clubs.

for those ppl reading this entry:
Yes, you're counted as friends. Unless of course you're that freak that sent me a male thong through the mail.

of those having read the above:
Lewis rocks!

Of the blogger again:
*shucks I know, I know.

"victim" of an inconvenience

Taken from the forum section of today's Newpaper:
"Recently, I was in the Bugis Street shopping area and had to visit the toilet urgently.
I went to one of the public loos and was charged 20 cents to enter. When I was in one of the cubicles, I suddenly realised there was no toilet paper. There was also no rubber hose to allow the user to wash up.
Left with no choice, I simply shouted for anyone to give me some toilet paper. A man came to my aid and he told me all the toilets there do not have toilet paper and these can only be obtained at the entrance upon request.
What an odd arrangement. What happens to people such as myself who are not aware of this procedure?
And the area is listed as a tourist spot. What will visitors think of us when they become victims to this inconvenience?
My wife checked the women's toilet and said the same practice exists there.
I called the Bugis management and told them the problem. But up till now nothing has been done."

Firstly, dude, what the fuck.

Haha that guy must either be damn free or has aspirations to save the world. What, he has the time to write in about such a matter, bothers to get his wife to check if such a procedure is adopted at the ladies, called up the Bugis management and even checks back to see if any action has been taken. It's a little too much if you ask me.

He asks what visitors will think of us when they become "victims" to such an inconvenience. I say what will visitors think of us if they find out about such a lamer. Singaporeans buay steady, we encounter such an inconvenience, we sue the management till their kar chng peet. Where got write lame ass complaint to the Newpaper and let ppl like lewis laugh at them?

If theres one thing this complaint did, it was too make me laugh and whilst I was takin a dump(toilet paper in abudance of course). HA!

1 poor mouse

Was at zouk last night when jack msged me askin me to go to his place as he needed my help urgently. It took me more effort than I was willing to go through jus to get out of phuture, which as usual was like a sardine can. I arrived at jack's doorstep in anticipation of the emergency which turned out to be....... a small mouse on the loose in his room. Maggie had been totally freaked out and insisted on stayin downstairs while the both of us tried to catch the thing. So it was that "mission seems possible but actually quite impossible" took place. You would think that 2 guys against an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini (haha sorry, could not resist)mouse would be a no brainer but think again. Jus tryin to track the thing down alone took half an hour and shifting almost all of the furniture in the room in the process.

Finding it took time but at least it wasn't that tiring. Now catching the thing, thats a different story altogether. The thing was so small and agile it could squeeze through gaps we never thought possible. And if you didn't know by now, mice can jump and quite high at that. All that effort finally paid off after another half hour of tryin to chase the thing, losing it and finding it to chase it all over again when we cornered it and trapped it in a box. I suggested bringin the mouse to keef's dinner today but jack decided to have some fun wit the rodent and shook the box it was in so vigorously that the poor fella soon had its 4 legs facing upwards (si4 jiao3 chao2 tian1) and showed no further sign of movement. The thing probably died of brain damage. Oh well, we can't always have happy endings can we.

2 weeks to christmas! 3 weeks to the end of a parents imposed driving ban and a whole new year to enjoy!!!

endless love

It's late but I ain't gonna sleep. Why? I can't stop listenin to "endless love" by jackie chan and kim hee seon. Heard the song while watching "the myth" and have been hooked on it ever since. Incidently the myth sucks big time... Oh and kim hee seon is freakin hot. I wanna go back to korea again and thats jus cause I saw her in the movie. Shes so gonna have me kids, I can jus feel it.

Ahhhhh music to my ears, literally. Ok shall listen to it one last time and I'll turn in.

sleepless in toh tuck

Ching chong chang! One moment retro and next you know its now chinese songs that I'm into. I feel like a universal playboy of MUSIC. What, you thought I'd be so shameless as to declare myself a playboy? Haha I wish I was though, imagine goin after chicks up down left right. Woooo! Sad to say, thats a life I'll never be able to lead due to my lack of aptitude in the said art.

For starters, I'm too nice a guy to lead life with a cornucopia of girls in tow. To do such a thing to the fairer sex, mana eh sai? Secondly I'm a hopeless case of what an ah beng would refer to as boh chee i.e no balls(figuratively speakin of course). Get me to go pick up a girl and I'll quiver at such a prospect. Not unless you threaten to cut of me balls(of which are doin well and healthy, thank you) or the girl is real hot and has showed signs of interest, will I den pluck up the courage.

The most important criteria however is fulfilling the BIG 3, looks, moolah and brains/personality. All that talk about inner beauty and looks not being everything is bollocks. You're ugly, you ain't no playboy, period. For me, I"m acceptable in that department, so one down. Moolah - what else can I say about it... You've got the cash to splash, your catch will be that lil bit easier to reel in. Myself I'm a welfare case being fed by community kitchens and surviving on handouts, so no go. Finally as long as you have either brains or a good personality you're fine, if you have both den thats a bonus. Personally, I dun think I possess enuff of either to be counted as considerable.

Well it ain't hard being a playboy but a playboy with standard, now thats different. Since I'm lacking in being a playboy with standard, I'll jus have to contend with life as an average joe now dun I?

flavours of the week - "melody - tao ze" and "bu de bu ai - wilbur pan"

call me, call me!

The introduction to Spagna's "call me" is just the bomb, I'm obsessed.

Just came back from supper wit "julie" at Al Ameen. Kinda rocks havin a schoolmate that stays jus beside you and whom you can call out at anytime of the night. Bought a bag of chips on the way home from 7/11 hoping to munch while reading a book but lost the mood in the end. I decided to clock in some activity fer this thing seein that I've been neglecting it and a good thing I did so or I would be munching on chips now.

Growing up, the pangs of regret and complication of life. Gone are the days of minuscule stature with the highlight of your day being a session of catching. I miss the carefreeness.