Good deed for the day.

Basically today was wasted away cept for the one thing i did in the afternoon. Went to NUH to donate blood to yan's friend's aunt. At first we were told there was enough blood so dun need to donate already but we were den told that our blood was needed so off to NUH we went.

Haha ok heres the good part, before you donate your blood, naturally you have to fill in some forms right. Yeah so our hero, the yanster(he hates that name), upon readin the qns felt uncomfortable about answering 2 of em. The first askin if he had sex with someone he knew for less than six months(risk of AIDS) and the second, haha cant say =X. I think he was jus scared of the needle so he came up with excuses, ah gua. LOL hes gonna get me fer that. Anyway, the process of dontating blood does not cause you to put on weight contrary to popular belief, plus its not pain. Ladies and gents, go donate yo blood! Word of advice though, try not to look while the nurse is injecting you with the needle, cause the guy lyin opp me did and he went "WHOA!" upon seein the needle. I tried my best to control my laughter after that. Yes the needle is relatively big but its really not pain, save a life, go donate.

It Never Rains but Pours(title courtesy of yan)

And the tally is now 300. Yup, lost 300 buckaroos so far on euro 2004. This really speaks volumes about my bettin ability so ladies and gents, if ever ya'll wanna win some money, bettin against me is THE way to go.

The issue thats really irritating the shit outta me now is the humble piercing. Just decided to get one on the eyebrow while on the phone with yan last night, spur of the moment kinda thing. Well my father upon hearing what i wanted to do started givin me a lecture. "You wanna be individualistic in a society that calls for conformity?, What will this say about your character, how you wanna stand out with a piercing., How will you benefit from getting a piercing?" He said he wun stop me from gettin one but kept on emphasizing how he thinks its so uncalled for that i felt the whole gamut of emotions, ranging frm wanting to give in to stickin to my guns. Right now, im considerin jus gettin 2 holes hammered into my ear lobe and we'll see what my mum says about this in the mornin before i actually make a decision. Parents, go figure.

Next on my list... Though all the trouble i have to go through, at least this shows that she has principals. Ok, im stickin my head out on this one but here goes. I wanted to get to know this girl, wun say whom, and so i asked chieh to find out how shes like and get her no. fer me. *alright with the wolf whistles already Anyway, she didnt wanna give her no. cause she felt uncomfortable givin it to a stranger. Yes, fer now im a stranger, but im not givin up. Work harder chieh! Shall switch to taciturn mode and stop commenting on the matter at hand.

Oh heres wishing joyce a happy 18th bdae.

Down fer life?

30 years down the road, us guys gathered together on a sat night in yan's absofuckinlutely killa of a crib guzzling down beer with huge habanos cigars plonked in between our fingers. Is that too ostentatious a thought to fathom? Well all im hopin for is that 30 on, not only will i have a family to come home to, but also to be able to turn to the same group of friends that i've known since i was 15. Not that im gauched or anti social but given a choice i'd rather stick with my present group den make any new friends. The group with which i've had so much ups and downs with, the group with which will go through life with me and the group who my childrens' godparents will come from.

How some people can show such wanton obliviousness to the value of friendship i really dun get and its something i never will. One reason why im posting this right now i admit is cause im feelin quite left out but ultimately all im askin for is that the group stays together. Everyone has a girl in their life to which their attention is fixated upon, some more than others. "Sorry, gotta send her home, oh im not spending enough time with her, she misses me", phrases i've heard one too many times. I know im exhibiting a paucity of empathy and the slightest bit(yeah right) of selfishness alas its something that fustrates me so much that im voicing it out. Im not askin you to dump or ignore your girls, i might as well embark on a campaign of genocide. My humble request is for ya'll not to neglect the friendship.

I can't say this friendship is perfect, no its definately not. To put it crudely, this bond that holds our group together is an amalgam of factors that range from the candidness of jason chan to the "imma kick yo ass" yan threatens jason with. We're all so different in terms of personalities and interests and yet i feel so strongly about this bond, so much so that i really cant imagine life without ya'll.

Perhaps the greatest barrier standing against this friendship withstanding the test of time is the essential quest for educational acme. Yan will be leavin for London come sept, the guys in ac have their A's and who knows where they'll do their undergraduate course at, will i leave Singapore for my degree, will joe find new company in design school, where will keef further his studies at?

Its not that i enjoy all this prattling, its the value i place on this bond that drove me to write this. Whereva we end up next time, i jus wanna take this opportunity to let ya'll know that never will i find better friends than you guys. Dare i say this? We down fer life or what.

P.S yan, get yo ass back in Singapore on the double!!!

Die...

Jus found out my theory test is today and not tomorrow, and to think i was goin to go to work. Luckily i was bored and decided to check the website. For once im glad for being bored. Soooo gonna fail the test considering i hardly flipped through the handbook. Haha how loser, failing your drivin theory test. Ok my sis is attempting to bake a cake now, so yeah the house will most likely explode. Hopin fer the best.

Blah Blah Blah

Terrorists, a room full of em surrounding you. You are blindfolded and kneeling as you hear arabic being spoken, presumably the terms for your release. Now your fate lies in the ability of your government to adhere to those terms and how will you feel? Imagine answering to the highest echelons of your company for a mistake equivilent to your lifetimes salary. No, thats not all, add to that the possibility of death in as many ways possible as how many of the same top in different colours your gf owns and the uncertainty of it. Ah to hell with it, jus imagine being excecuted. Thats what happened to 2 Americans and a Sounth Korean recently and all ended up dead.

As i watched the news unfold, i thought to myself, what would i be thinking of if i were the one kneeling in their places.... Certainly, the cornerstone of many a life, religion, can't be left out. After all, what else can you turn to for help and salvation? Your friendly neighbourhood politician who has only 2 things on their mind, re election and monica lewinski and whom your fate happens to rest upon? My future lifestyle also came into consideration. Will i be cruisin pimp style in my custom built rolls and livin it up like a playa in a 20 bedroom penthouse complete with a haute couture only wadrobe or will i have to commute to work every freakin day in a bus and return to a humble 3 rm HDB flat i call home. The future missus was another thought. Hot bod, legs that never seem to end, eyes that you never get tired of gazing into and killa in bed?? Haha i'll be happy if i even manage to settle down. So the list goes on....

It suddenly struck me, reality in its full force. Yes those ppl deserve the deepest of sympathies but im an 18 year old tryin to cope with his studies and the typical teen problems, not some guy kidnapped for political reasons. What happens in the future will come eventually and its what i do with my life now that determines it. Wondering wun get ya anywhere, well maybe to road sweeping as an occupation but thats about it. Getting down to workin hard and makin sure you dun regret any of the things you have done sure is easier said than done but actually tryin it sure beats wondering. Having said that, it wun kill to make an exection once in a while though. Heh.

Oh and if you're readin this, remember the promise yeah. =)

Special Treat

1 week.... Yes thats right, only one week out of my 2 month holiday remains and funnily enough there isn't a special moment of which i can define this holiday with. The "oomph" and "ahhhhh" was grossly lackin in this holiday. Haha still with me? It wasn't that i didnt have fun and shit, its jus that... I really wonder where my holidays went to, all that talk about learning French, obtaining my driver's license and working. None of the tasks i feel i made a proper attempt at. This is so typical of me, havin so many ideas and full of drive but always losing steam halfway. I soooo gotta change.

Freak, i think im getting old! Old as in terms of thinkin kinda old. And its along the lines of "granpa" thinking. The usual trips to town are boring me, cavorting in sentosa doesn't interest me and clubbin is becoming mundane(in part due to the lack of techno). Lets hope this feelin is jus temporary, for my sake they had better be.

Ok ladies and gents, i have a treat for ya'll today. Since ya'll bother to make the effort to actually come to this blog, a reward is due. Here are some online conversations between joe and jason, of which joe has kindly saved and sent to me. Enjoy.

i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
shit
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
just now my lip twitched la
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
u know what tt means!!!!
joe says:
what?
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
tt means...
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
im a good kisser
joe says:
.. ER WTF LOL
joe says:
hahaha i'm copying and pasting that for people to see man
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
mai la
joe says:
hahahahahaha
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
my arm twitched
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
u know what tt means...
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
tt means...
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
if u paste for ppl to see i'll beat yo ass

......

i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
u faggot la
joe says:
yea yea that's where it all starts off, you fa-get
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
u faget
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
fa-gert
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
u yogert
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
u bastert
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
u retert
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
u backsert
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
u nanaperk
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
u fish head currert
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
u bitchert
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
dont ignert me
joe says:
i'm not ignoring you
joe says:
i'm letting you type more stuff so that i can save them
joe says:
lol

.......

joe says:
what movie are you all intending to watch?
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
u faggot la
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
dunno
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
but u can vote for judging jury [note: he meant runaway jury]

......

joe says:
at least it doesn't have a picture of you there
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
wait till i becomea photoshop pro
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
i'll put me in with a clark kent body flying over the car
joe says:
LOL
i_am_jasonchan@hotmail.com says:
just u wait

Euro 2004? Pfft!

And so my run of bad luck continues..... Having posted yesterday's entry you might think that things could not go worse in terms of sporting results, well it jus did. Went to daryl's house last night to watch soccer cause his parents weren't home and yan and i each put a hundred on a italy win while daryl went with denmark. Lost my first hundred on that match and i was lookin to recoup my losses on the next bankin my hopes on sweden. For some reson unknown to us, Yan and i decided to go with 100 on bulgaria and guess what? They lost 4-0, whoop dee doo 200 buckaroos gone in a night. Fuck that. Betting is seriously bad and i think that was a sign to stop. *Yes i get your gist but makin me lose 200 wasnt called for you know.

Ok after the matches ended i was helpin daryl promote his party by sending out emails frm my school email account to other students when i realised i fergot to enrol for a module. I was supposed to log in on the 12th to enrol online and i totally clean fergot all about it. Sooooo dead. I jus wrote some email to the school and i seriously hope it'll sorta get me off the hook a lil. Problems problems problems.....

Money!!!!! Im in desperate need of it right now. Haha jus this mornin yan, daryl and i were comin up with ways with which to earn money. The usual prostitution and pimpin ideas came up and suffice to say we didnt consider them. What we did come up with however, im quite lookin forward to and i really hope it takes off. In the meantime will some kind soul out there give me a plesant surprise the next time i check my balance cause theres an extra 200 bucks in there? P13203846. Whoops, did i jus give out my account number? Pure and honest mistake.

*to the big guy up there

ZzzzZzZzzZZz

Ok stayed up till 430am this morning all for what? Jus to see England blow a 1-0 lead in the 3 minutes of extra time to end up going down 2-1 to France. And to make things worse, i woke up at 10 only to see me beloved Lakers go down 3-1 in the series to the Pistons. #$()*&^!!!!!! Like wtf..... Sporting results these days are getting so depressing. All the teams im rooting for seem to lose all at once, think i should start supporting the opposition to make them lose instead. This will not do man, the Lakers MUST win the championship!! Everyone whos readin this... I beseech you, pls pray for the Lakers.

Now that sports is taken care of, lets move on to more menial matters like my life? What can i write about my life?? *ponders Isit possible for all to be well in the life of Lewis Lim? Pfft! Course not, dun worry i'll get down to the details. But first and foremost, i would like to congratulate yan on his visa approval. Good thing they allowed you to stay man, or else Boss, D&G, Gucci, Versace, blah blah blah would be missing out on alot of business. Also, there would be one less person to contribute to the pollution in Singapore with all that smoking and im glad thats not the case. *auntie if you're reading this, yan smokes!!!!!

Theres seriously a void in my life.. Im almost sure i know how to fill that void up but being able to is another totally different issue altogether. Mapped out in my mind is a veritable cornucopia of solutions each seemingly as viable as the next yet i choose to indulge myself in wallowing in self delusion. Its not that im unwilling to try, its jus too hard to let go. Everytime i meet with a bump though it gets easier and easier to let go but thats not what i want!! Perhaps this is a case of wanting what i cant have, but only time will tell.....

Work Work.

Lets see, one word to describe my very first day at work, stressful. No wait, lets make it 2 words, fucking stressful. The working day got off on a bad start as keef and i were 15 minutes late(i wonder why), and the captain giving the briefing made us stand at the front and gave us a slight dressing down. Not to be mean or anithin but theres smt seriously wrong with that guy's face, and im hoping that the manager lets him work the backroom staff so as not to let the guests come into contact with him. Plus i hate the way he goes around ordering ppl about with the maximum authority and power this job allows him to muster. Eh hellloooo, capt. in the banquet dept. of the Fullerton Hotel. You feel biiiiiiigggggg jus cause you can order a few part timers around? Haiz, seriously, get a life man.

Ah ah this should be fun. Lets move on to Eric. Eric, shmerick. This guy is one big dumb arse of an excuse. He dons the same uniform as us but in terms of mentality, hooo boy this guy is one high flyer sia. What was that you said again Eric? How dare i sit down in front of you? Oh im sorry, i've been standing for 7 straight hours and i would've used your arse as a chair if not for the fact that i would sink into all that fat down there and never be found again.

Moving on to the actual work. Im so not bloody cut out to be a waiter man. Everytime i had to serve smt that was in the liquid form and piping hot, my hands trembled. Haha yes laugh, wait till you try. The thought of me spilling smt on someone never did leave my mind the whole night and you cant imagine the relief i felt when the wedding finally ended. I dunnoe how keef can say its worth it for 6 bucks an hour when its so obviously not. All the mental anguish i had to go through..... Oh oh oh!!! The bride was damn chio la. That was about the only plus point on top of the money last night. Work finally ended at 230 and i reached home an exhausted teen at 330. Im so gonna quit the moment hols end even though they "sincerly hope" we dun go mia after the hols.

The End?

A frission of excitement ran through me as i saw her figure at the other end of the building and a million freaking scenarios flashed across my mind as i made my way to her. There i was tryin to give her a bouquet of flowers of which MAY be the last thing i'll do for her. Yes she did accept it the in end, amid much fanfare frm a group of minahs enjoying the "free show" and it somehow really gave me a peace of mind and made my day. All this was despite the strong objections raised by my friends as they didn't think it was the right thing to do at all. I concur, its not the right thing but its smt which i wanted and felt i had to do having ruminated for awhile.

I know im not exactly the epitome of the pukka "dear" but one things fer sure, i didnt't do nothing that would've hurt her intentionally and that i really tried to make things work. Having never cried(literally) for a girl, surely it meant smt for me to break that tradition. Am i a dullard to behave like i did? In the future i may look back at all this and have a laugh, but right now i cant help but not act according to whats expected of me frm my friends.

She herself asked me if all this is worth it. I can openly admit its not. But do i care? Course i dun, who cares if things are logical or not when you are experiencing such extremes of emotions? I think everyone should one way or another get hurt some time in their life by a relationship. Imagine having loved and been loved all your life without having get hurt, how boring is that man? *(i can hear some rebukes comin in already) Love by itself will only reach a certain level no matter how high that level, but with a tinge of "hurt", love can be even more treasured and special especially since you know how precious it is . Sure, theres a possibility that the tinge of "hurt" can turn you into a sceptic of love but what to do, i prefer to see it in an optimistic light. For now im still reeling frm that hurt and i dunnoe how things will turn out. I really hope i dun lose her though, i really really do cause i dunnoe what i'll do without her. *(ok some reprimanding comin my way soon)

This recent episode, i know has really surprised my friends as i'm the one that has always been strong emotionally and the one thats also dishing out the advice. I really can't say how sorry i'm to put them through this and most importantly i wanna say THANK YOU frm the bottom of my heart.

Groove Coverage

Day's events:
Went to Music Underground last night where Groove Coverage was spinning and boy i must say it was fucking good. The plan was not to spend so much money so we headed to yan's house to have a few drinks first before heading to the club. So much for that plan as we still opened a bottle in the end(yan and cliff paid the majority).. Drank and drank and drank. Ultimately one guy did get quite drunk whilst the rest waited in anticipation for groove coverage to take to the decks. Im gonna make it a point to see to it that he doesnt get drunk like that again cause it was an absofuckinlutely monster of a party he missed out on.

Well i myself got kinda high and i happily took my phone out to msg. You've heard that drinking under the influence of alcohol is fatal? Now lets add smsing under the influence of alcohol to the fatal list. Its not that i said anithin i regretted, its jus that the party on the other end of the line probably thought i suffered frm some mental damage(jus for the record, i'm not suffering frm mental dmg).

Hoooooo boy. When groove coverage finally started spinning, it was killa! Everyone should give techno a chance. They dun bloody know what they're missing out on i tell you. Dance floor was a lil overcrowded but there was some room on the podium so..... There was so much space to operate and up there you get the best view in da house. It was an added bonus that the air con was blowing directly at us.

Whilst taking a break from his set, the DJ was signing autographs so i thought why not? I took off the sweater i was wearing for him to leave his mark on my white shirt i had on underneath. Least i got a souvenir frm a much enjoyed night. Haha i may get hong to try and auction the thing off though, for the right price of course.

Friendly reminder: techno is good for you so get your ass off this blog, buy yourself a good album and get blown away.

Listening Ear

Well, informed my parents of my results last night and i must admit the talk they gave me knocked some sense into the prat that i sometimes am. The usual bitterness and dogmatism in me during lectures was nonexistent as the nous my dad showed in his assesment of me as a person was spot on. However if you must know, the bitterness did rear its head a lil when my mum chose to prattle, something which i knew was gonna happen. Having gone through the lecture i really wondered if i would disappoint my parents yet again the next time i get my results. Its all in my hands.

Now with so many things goin on in my life, its lil wonder that im experiencing a flush of emotions. Ebullient at times, yet down and out the next. Not like my lifestyle is anything near debauched but things can get so overwhelming at times that i somehow wished i was incarcerated without any1 to disturb me. And who(its a what in this instance) do i turn to? Why this blog of course. Funny how you can have such a wonderful bunch of friends surround you yet solace is seeked in the form of something inanimate.

Why den do i choose to do so, you fathom? I guess it all boils down to the fact that the blog does not judge. It wouldn't tell me how wrong im to think so negatively or direct a scathing attack at me for being mendacious. This is my world where i have but the lone and final say. Dun ferget, this thing is probably also the world's best "listener". I may come off sounding like there is a paucity of attention in my life but really, who do you know will listen to your thoughts for hours on end without a single complaint?

Day's events:
Shes been affecting me both emotionally and physically recently. Why why why why why? Ok groove coverage party is tomorrow night and im really lookin forward to it. Its gonna be real good. They have like the best songs la. 2nd theory lesson for driving was boring and i cant wait to start on pracs. Am i psyched up for tomorrow or what?!!

Rebirth

Okkkkkkkkkkkkk. Lets give this thing a second shot. My first blog lasted an awfully long period of what? A couple of months?? Yeah not exactly the most comprehensive of bloggin as you can tell. Is that an uderstatement or what

Well the keynote to this new blog of mine will be, simplicity, due to my lackadaisical nature. I know, I know.... B o r i n g. Well sometimes life's like that. Also it'll take a herculean effort on my part jus to post an entry so do not impute laziness to the lack of content as believe you me, im trying. Kerfuffle generated(if any at all) will be kept to a miminum so sorry to put a kibosh on any hopes of juicy details or gossip. That was my bloggin philosophy in a nutshell.

So why the new blog you ask? 2 words, kill time. Its ok if the hit rate to this blog is of a nugatory amount, i jus need a place to pour my thoughts into and primarily for, yes you guessed it, killing time.

The day's happenings:
Started off well enough with my first theory lesson for driving followed by lunch and a long session of chit chatting with hong. Things soon took a turn for the worst as i caused a quasi-misunderstanding between 2 ppl of which i hope to resolve once and for all in a couple of hours. On top of that, my pathetic excuse of a result slip arrived in the mail and that about rounded off the bad news causing me to long for a depressed's Shangri-la.

Solace came in the form of phone therapy as she suprisingly took time off her books jus to lend a listening ear. I must admit i havent exactly been the best of "dears" and it took some reflection on my part for me to come to that realisation and apologise for it. Once again "sorry dear".

Haizzzz. Gonna inform my parents of ma results now and boy it won't be a pretty sight.