Remember gunbound?? The game jus came to my mind and memories of me stayin up till late playin wit the guys came rushing back. Yup, we were lame.

Theres a kick missin in my life at the present moment, one which I'm desperately hopin for. Nope, i have no idea what it is, duhhhhhh, but ones things fer sure and its that I dun even feel its close.

Now why in the world would I need a "kick" you may ask? For starters, theres this empty feelin insida me and i really hate it. Its as though I have nothing to look forward to every morning when I wake up and its pathetic. It gets better, not only isn't there anithin to look forward to but I also feel as though I SHOULD have smt to look forward to jus that I'm simply not experiencing it. Not having smt is irritating, not having smt you feel you shld be experiencing is fucking irritating.

Secondly, my exams are at the end of the month and at the present mood I'm in, theres no way I can ever get down to studying. Wait, maybe I shouldn't speak too much about this point lest the "kick" I get ends up distracting me.

Moving on...... My friends have got their A's results and while some did well, others had grades that were not so pretty. My point? Everyone is movin on to the the next step of the education ladder: University! Yet again this brings up the topic of growing up.

Why do I seem so afraid of growing up? This may be due in large part to my fear of what my future has in store for me. What if I end up in some 9-5 office job kissin someone's ass my whole career? What if home ends up to be a HDB flat? What if I end up without a family at my deathbed? Have I played too much and ruined my future? I can think of a hundred and one excuses for all my failings but for once I shall buck the trend and refrain.

Much as I fear the future, theres this part inside of me thats really lookin forward to what it has in store for myself, as deep down a small part is hoping that things do work out. There are so many possibilities to life and while this has made me apprehensive, its also made me curious.

Personally I hope my life turns out like a good TV programme. Yes, you can't fast forward but the fun is in watching the whole thing. More importanly the ending has to be good regardless of the build-up as likened to every plot having its ups and down, so as not to get that anti climax havin watched a bad ending. After all whats the whole purpose of watching a show? To get to the ending of course.

Its times like these that really make me miss havin yan around to talk to.